Post by Black Ace on Nov 16, 2003 18:16:29 GMT -5
*Is tempted to say something, but he won't, because he knows he'll get screamed at by a hundred different people for saying something that was once said to him*
Sean...
*The quote is about to burst out of him*
Dammit... I don't know what to say... Just, what if... Well...
*He makes up his mind to say it anyway...*
Sean... When I lost my first g/f, I was devastated... I suddenly realized what a terrible person I was... How I could only hurt people... How no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to say sorry to the people I'd hurt... I never wanted to fight again... I was not gonna be the "Dragon's Shadow" anymore... I was gonna abandon my friends... I was gonna kill myself... And then someone said this to me...:
"What the fuck are you doing, sitting here, grieving over yourself as if you were already dead, huh? You look pitiful. Disgusting. Washed up. What's the matter, huh? Cat got ya tongue? I can fix that."
He took out his knife and put it right against my neck. I was scared, but deep inside me, there was a voice saying "Good. Now it'll all be over..." Then he said to me:
"If you sit here and get sad over yourself, you're not worth anything. You're too good to live, but you're too to disgusting to die. So listen. There are people out there that still love. People that still need you. We need you. Your brother needs you. What do you think will happen to him in this business without you, man? He doesn't admire me as much as he worships you. I need you, man. If you want to hate and doubt yourself that much, lock it deep inside youself and just let it fuel all of your other feelings. Don't give up on yourself now. The surest thing that you have in life is you. Not family. Not friends. You. If you don't believe in yourself, then you aren't even good enough to die."
Those were his words. I based my life on them from that day forward. I think that I always will base my life on them. I'm still sad inside, but I'm not gonna let it overwhelm me again. He was my friend... my brother... no, even stronger than that... he was my Leader[/u][/b]. I would have died and burned in Hell a million times for anyone/everyone in the gang. They were my family when I had never really had one before. Ironically, he ended his own life with a gun to his head. That's when I realized that the words he had told me sounded meaningless to him; that he wanted me to live because I was like his younger brother.
Sean, believe in yourself. Don't give two pieces of horse shit about what anyone says about you or about what you should do. Got it? Live your life without giving a damn about what other people think. If you believe that you can be happy, and the medicines will make you happy, then they will. If you believe that everyone only wants you to be happy, then you'll be happy. Please, Sean. Try. Once. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I hear talk about how depressed you are, all I can think of is everyone dear to me that ended their own lives. DON'T YOU DARE END UP LIKE THEM!!!!! OKAY!!!?!!?! BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SELF, 'CAUSE IN THE END, YOU'RE ALL YOU'VE GOT LEFT!!!![/u][/b] Just please, Sean. Try. I don't want anyone else ending up that way...
Sean...
*The quote is about to burst out of him*
Dammit... I don't know what to say... Just, what if... Well...
*He makes up his mind to say it anyway...*
Sean... When I lost my first g/f, I was devastated... I suddenly realized what a terrible person I was... How I could only hurt people... How no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to say sorry to the people I'd hurt... I never wanted to fight again... I was not gonna be the "Dragon's Shadow" anymore... I was gonna abandon my friends... I was gonna kill myself... And then someone said this to me...:
"What the fuck are you doing, sitting here, grieving over yourself as if you were already dead, huh? You look pitiful. Disgusting. Washed up. What's the matter, huh? Cat got ya tongue? I can fix that."
He took out his knife and put it right against my neck. I was scared, but deep inside me, there was a voice saying "Good. Now it'll all be over..." Then he said to me:
"If you sit here and get sad over yourself, you're not worth anything. You're too good to live, but you're too to disgusting to die. So listen. There are people out there that still love. People that still need you. We need you. Your brother needs you. What do you think will happen to him in this business without you, man? He doesn't admire me as much as he worships you. I need you, man. If you want to hate and doubt yourself that much, lock it deep inside youself and just let it fuel all of your other feelings. Don't give up on yourself now. The surest thing that you have in life is you. Not family. Not friends. You. If you don't believe in yourself, then you aren't even good enough to die."
Those were his words. I based my life on them from that day forward. I think that I always will base my life on them. I'm still sad inside, but I'm not gonna let it overwhelm me again. He was my friend... my brother... no, even stronger than that... he was my Leader[/u][/b]. I would have died and burned in Hell a million times for anyone/everyone in the gang. They were my family when I had never really had one before. Ironically, he ended his own life with a gun to his head. That's when I realized that the words he had told me sounded meaningless to him; that he wanted me to live because I was like his younger brother.
Sean, believe in yourself. Don't give two pieces of horse shit about what anyone says about you or about what you should do. Got it? Live your life without giving a damn about what other people think. If you believe that you can be happy, and the medicines will make you happy, then they will. If you believe that everyone only wants you to be happy, then you'll be happy. Please, Sean. Try. Once. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I hear talk about how depressed you are, all I can think of is everyone dear to me that ended their own lives. DON'T YOU DARE END UP LIKE THEM!!!!! OKAY!!!?!!?! BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SELF, 'CAUSE IN THE END, YOU'RE ALL YOU'VE GOT LEFT!!!![/u][/b] Just please, Sean. Try. I don't want anyone else ending up that way...