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Post by CygnusMkII on Jan 31, 2004 13:49:26 GMT -5
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Post by Zorak on Jan 31, 2004 13:59:16 GMT -5
20%
So I'm not Gay enough? Well, fuck you, quiz.
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Post by Gojira on Jan 31, 2004 14:01:59 GMT -5
Carl is 16% gay.
Bullshit. How can you be too straight? That's what I get for being a retrosexual.
My Restrosexuality is defined by the following Retrosexual code:
A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE GODDAMN DATE.
A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with shit. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "dealing with shit" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors fuck up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for poontang. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak woodchipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH SHIT. When you fucked up, he DEALT with you. Cowboy up, pussy.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a fucking Windsor knot when wearing a tie.
A Retrosexual does not strip naked, get into a sweat lodge, and bang on drums to bond with other guys. That shit is gay. However dressing in kilts, banging on drums around a campfire, and drinking heavily is just fine.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a damn nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual's asshole is an exit ramp on the road of life. Ladies, contrary to what Cosmo says, spontaneously sticking a finger back there is a good way to be launched off the bed (or if Hooters hot wings have been recently consumed, lose a finger). Make you a deal, we won't mess with yours unless you want us to, and you won't mess with ours period.
A Retrosexual will buy feminine hygiene products if he has to, but only under protest. This falls under unpleasant things you have to fucking DEAL with. Get some Hagen-Daas while your at it.
A Retrosexual gives a lady his seat on the bus/subway/etc.
A Retrosexual does not order an apple martini at the bar. A Martini has fucking gin and vermouth in it dammit. And maybe an olive. In fact, why not just get a beer and a shot of scotch??
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, or are trying to make up for a small penis. Massage and cunnilingus skills are the way to make up for a small penis, guns are fucking TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL with shit. Plus it's just damnned fun to shoot.
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Post by Zorak on Jan 31, 2004 14:11:01 GMT -5
I guess that I'm Retero Sexual. Though I might substitute Gun with a sword or some sharp object.
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Post by Gojira on Jan 31, 2004 14:15:33 GMT -5
I prefer a gun over any type of blade (except for maybe a Bowie Knife, but I'd tuck that in my belt). They're easier to handle, can kill without getting too close, and overall better for hunting. Try killing a flying duck with a sword. There is a reason why guns have replaced swords, after all.
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Triyun
GM III
Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking for a Challenge!!!!!!!!
Posts: 739
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Post by Triyun on Jan 31, 2004 14:20:34 GMT -5
23% Gay, saying I loved lesbian porno better not have counted towards being gay, I mean every straight guy loves that stuff.
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Triyun
GM III
Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking for a Challenge!!!!!!!!
Posts: 739
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Post by Triyun on Jan 31, 2004 14:28:03 GMT -5
I'm not that much into hunting because I mostly eat fish, probably from me growing up with it so much when I lived in Japan. But other than that I follow most of the code.
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Post by Gojira on Jan 31, 2004 14:30:45 GMT -5
In Louisiana, we have fish, shellfish, deer, duck, turkey, goose, etc. so I eat whatever. I guess that's why they call it the "Sportsman's Paradise."
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Post by Draco Starcloud on Jan 31, 2004 15:29:44 GMT -5
I got 20% gay.
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Macabre
MARRIED Woman
...
Posts: 2,894
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Post by Macabre on Jan 31, 2004 15:45:30 GMT -5
I'm 43% lesbian.
*shakes head*
It must be because I know how to work on cars to some extent. It seems like lately I'm just begging for excuses for my husband to aim lesbian jokes in my direction.
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Wind
GM III
Gone...
Posts: 675
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Post by Wind on Jan 31, 2004 16:07:48 GMT -5
13%
You're a walking, talking, red blooded hetero guy. Just way too straight for these modern times, mate.
In my mind, that's a good thing.
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Post by AiNoShini on Jan 31, 2004 21:32:19 GMT -5
20%. I'm, like, SO not gay.
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Post by neoviper7 on Feb 1, 2004 22:04:02 GMT -5
same as wind
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Post by Angel Aries on Feb 2, 2004 21:14:47 GMT -5
13% too...! Weird...
Especially because a lot of people, especially around here, tack Aries as gay right off the bat.
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Post by AiNoShini on Feb 2, 2004 22:09:43 GMT -5
I just wanted to say, for fun...
YOU GODDAMN FAGGOTS WILL BURN IN HELL!!
LOL, just fuckin' around. What good is a gay quiz without some idiotic redneck screamin' his tight ass religious gibberish?
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